not just for clandestine meetings

rebootingfromstart:

tokidokifish:

rebootingfromstart:

tokidokifish:

HE’S LIKABLE AT THE BEGINNING OF DAII, TOO, when he’s all “those bastards made me get rid of my cat” and “a wizard did it”. By Act 3, though, I just want to punch him every time he opens his mouth (the single glimmer of old!Anders is when we go to find Nathaniel). Just FUUUUCK. He’s actually the first person I ever romanced! I honestly liked him, once upon a time! The only way I can keep liking him is by keeping in mind that both Janeka and the Enigma of Kirkwall seems to indicate there’s something wrong in Kirkwall, something that corrupts, and apparently makes likable mages struggling with sharing their body with a spirit blow up churches.

…god damn it I have enough fic to write, I don’t need to write Anders knowing that he’s changing and not being able to help it and part of the suicidal nature of THE ENTIRE THIRD ACT being because he’s pretty sure Kirkwall and Justice and his own hatred are twisting him into something he doesn’t want to be but can’t figure out how not to be. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SAD.

I try to keep in mind that by Act 3, he’s been in Kirkwall for six years seeing the mages get more and more mistreated, and that, combined with being an abomination, combined with the Enigma of Kirkwall woogie, is probably fucking with him a lot. It doesn’t excuse the dickishness or the blowing up the fucking Chantry, but it sort of explains it? I actually stall a lot during Act 3 because it’s kind of painful watching him like that, getting rid of his things, trying to give special things to his friends, and talking about how after the “boom” he and Justice will be able to take their rightful place amongst free mages - it’s obvious that he doesn’t think mages are going to be free in his lifetime, that the only real free mages are dead mages, and having suffered from suicidal ideation for longer than I can remember, that’s really poignant to me. So that’s probably why I over-identify with him sometimes.

Still, I can understand why people dislike him, and he is a dick, there’s no denying that.

I want to like him, I really do. It’s not even that he blows up the fucking Chantry (ALTHOUGH THAT IS VERY BAD), it’s… just the hundreds of little ways he’s an asshole in that last Act. What always seems to get me is the way he accuses Aveline of having it out for mages. FUCKING AVELINE. A, motherfucker: If Aveline had it out for you, she would not pussyfoot around the issue. She’d’ve already hauled your happy healing ass off to prison because Aveline gets shit done. And b: IT’S FUCKING AVELINE. The only goddamn person that is more protective of their friends is goddamn Varric! She’s not going to turn you in, you disrespectful little asshole! Step the fuck off! 

All of those moments are why I don’t like him as much as I like, say, Fenris and Varric and Aveline. Accusing Aveline of having it out for mages is Not Okay, and not gonna lie, I was rooting for her to deck him in that scene. Anders is one of those people who can’t see beyond their own pain and their own cause, I think, and that makes him an often unrepentant ass, which… on the one hand is fantastic writing from Bioware, because people who feel like they’re being backed into a corner can lash out at anyone for often unjustifiable reasons, but on the other hand makes it really hard to sympathise with him much because you just want him to stop being an ass to everyone.

It IS pretty good writing in that Anders has always been selfish - obviously that probably has something to do with being raised in the Circle, where relationships were just something that the Templars could take advantage of. And when he gets out he wants nothing to DO with the plight of mages, which is actually a pretty reasonable attitude I reeeally wish he had hung onto. After Justice, he’s got a cause, but even when he’s acting on the needs of the many it’s till HIS CAUSE, and HIS CAUSE is the most important one. 

It’s all very interesting and I can understand WHY he’s the way he is, but I can’t like him, and that makes me mad, because I really WANT to like him. XD

Posted 3 months ago — 12 notes